Personal Note/Divorce Support

May I start by saying that you are not a broken family. You are a family that has found the courage and the strength to fix what had not been working well. You have my deepest respect in reaching out for the support you need and deserve. I am here to help you. Call me now and let my 20 years of experience working in this field, benefit you. I look forward to meeting you!

Does anyone truly believe in divorce?  I believe in connections.  But when every effort has been exhausted, divorce may be inevitable.  I am sure that you are a reasonably successful person in many areas of life, but now feel like you are in unfamiliar territory considering or involved in a divorce.  OR it may be well after your divorce or relationship shift and you feel stuck and unable to move forward.  I am here to help you.  The most  positive step you can take for yourself is to ask for help.

I found myself in that position 35 years ago with nowhere to turn, feeling broken and unsure of the future of my family. I found that there were no services  available to address the emotional, psychological, AND legal process of divorce comprehensively - to educate me about "the process" and to address the sensitive needs of my changing family system. The lawyers did what lawyers do offering a rather adversarial and contentious forum to address what is so personal. What could have been a simple and supportive dissolution became a circus with lawyers, GAL for the child, psychological evaluations, family relations studies, custody evaluations and years upon end of unnecessary litigation. None of it benefitted any of us. I did not and I do not believe that family matters should be resolved in such a way. There is no resolution and the damage suffered by the children is heart-wrenching. There is a place and time for lawyering and I am grateful to call many lawyers and Judges my friends. But it is my belief that such an approach toward families in transition should be reserved only for the egregious. 

I found it equally as upsetting and difficult to find clinicians in the field of psychology that understand  Parental Alienation and the legal maneuvering, manipulations, and conflict one party can wield upon another in the judicial process, and the frustration involved - as children are growing up and needing to be raised in a warm, supportive, functional, healthy, and consistent environment developmentally.

I bring no gender bias to my work. I am an advocate and in full support of men and women who love their children more than they hate their ex (so to speak). Children need both parents ideally. Children need at least one strong, positive, supportive, and committed caregiver ultimately - to thrive.

I recommend to you the book The Un-Wedding, by Babette Cole - a favorite of mine! It has always been my belief that changing families should transition well and share the joy, responsibility, laughter, and love. This is a far better way. I realize it may not be possible in all divorces, and regrettably it was not possible in mine. I was left with raising my daughter alone in every way, as both mother and father. But I am committed to helping it work for yours.

I am determined to make a difference in this difficult process, and to be there for you and for those that may feel lost and confused in divorce. I had always wanted to study law but decided that I could serve my clients better by studying Psychology, Human Development/Family Relations, Counseling, and Divorce/Family Mediation (Mediation provided the opportunity to study and understand Family/Divorce Law). It has been my life's work to provide a safe and supportive environment and forum to address the needs of changing families. I am not an attorney and cannot give legal advice and you are encouraged and welcomed to have any 'understandings' you may reach together in my office reviewed by counsel. I believe the decisions, the outcomes, the direction, the control should be left in your hands and not in the care of those who do not know you or your family. You may be a family that is or will be living apart, but you are still a family. There is a far better way to Un-Wedding and I am determined to help you survive and thrive beyond this transition.

If being conciliatory, working collaboratively, or co-parenting well  is not an option - I am happy to work with you individually. The road can be frightening and the future uncertain. I have the map and the flashlight to help guide you out of the dark cave! I am well versed in high conflict dissolutions and transitions. You need not go through this alone. I am here to help!

Before, during, or after your divorce, reach out!  I look forward to meeting you. You are not alone.

I am here to offer experienced divorce support, divorce help, and divorce support groups from time to time when I feel clients may benefit from sharing in a group setting. I am here to help you.