Divorce Mediation, Parenting Mediation

LET'S MEDIATE YOUR DIVORCE AND PARENTING PLAN AND KEEP THE LAWYERS AT BAY

TEXTING IN CONTENTIOUS RELATIONSHIPS

PUT NOTHING IN A TEXT THAT YOU WOULD NOT WANT A JUDGE TO SEE

APPLICABLE TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN (no gender bias with me)

1. Keep all texts to two or three short sentences. Factual and to the point.

2. NO emotional explosions - it can be used against you in court. Your pain becomes proof to support their position that you are unstable. Picture your text being presented in court on a big screen. One text can cost you time, money, and potentially a change in the Parenting Plan and not in your favor.  DO NOT TEXT IT.

3. No lengthy explanations in texts. They are not confused. They know exactly what they did. Do not educate or let them bait you into a lengthy text. Your 15 paragraph email or text can be twisted. They can cherry pick sentences to use against you. DO NOT TEXT IT.

4. Do not guilt trip them. Read above again. They know what they are doing. If you text "Don't you care about our children?" they can point to you as not being able to keep your emotions out of parenting the children. No emotions, just facts. Don't give them the narrative they want. DO NOT TEXT IT

5. EVERY TEXT IS EVIDENCE. EVERY WORD IS STRATEGY. START TREATING YOUR TEXTS AND EMAILS AS THE LEGAL RECORD IT CAN BE. BE CAREFUL 

50 TIPS to Survive the Transition of Divorce

1. ASK FOR HELP through your Divorce!  I am here to help you!!

2. Invest in yourself

3. Talk, talk, and talk.

4. Do not blame yourself, try to seek understanding

5. Be honest 

6. Be authentic

7. Leave environments that make you feel bad about yourself

8. Allow yourself time to heal

9. Get down to basics – S.E.E.D.S – Shower, Eat, Exercise, Drink (H2O), Sleep

10. Listen to your voice and what YOU need

11. Understand the difference between Thinking, Feeling, and Acting (Think, Feel, but don’t Act without careful thought and good advice)

12. Feel your feelings

13. Realize what truly matters and what simply, does not

14. Design a PLAN (Call me – I can help)

15. Appreciate what you DO have

16. Take time for yourself

17. Be kind and forgiving of yourself

18. Embrace the idea of Persistence

19. Choose Self-Respect

20. Find something inspirational and display it (Story, Art, Quote)

21. If there are things that must be done – do the most difficult first

22. Cry 

23. Have faith and trust in the process – this is a journey

24. Be safe

25. Progress not Perfection

26. Make better choices, they don’t need to be perfect choices

27. Take responsibility for yourself and your path

28. Do the right thing – Live with integrity

29. Say NO

30. Say YES to activities that support and respect you

31. Focus on the NOW

32. Do the work (Actions first, the feelings will follow)

33. Allow yourself to go fetal for a day (but only a day)

34. Understand that new habits and ways of thinking take time

35. Practice, Practice, Practice

36. When in doubt, don’t

37. Work on new tapes (those voices in your head) and ways of thinking about yourself

38. Imagine something better for yourself (yes, you are worthy)

39. Have compassion for others (look outside yourself – volunteer)

40. Remember: Falling down is part of Life, but getting back up is Living!

41. Take up a new hobby (a close friend of mine took up Hang Gliding during his Divorce)

42. Make a list of your choices (I can help you with that – contact me)

43. Take a class in something you know little about

44. Find a photograph of yourself when you felt happy and self-empowered

45. Kick, scream, and throw a tantrum like a 3 year old (in private)!

46. Realize that you are not alone and that there are resources available to you (I can help)

47. Be still

48. Go to a playground and play (swing for hours)

49. Embrace the idea that you are strong, capable, have value, and that you will get through this

50. # 1  most important. ASK FOR HELP. I’M HERE TO HELP YOU.

Call me 203-560-2501 

Divorce Mediation, Divorce Coaching, Divorce Support, Life Coaching and Help in Healing (Grief, Pain, Loss)

DivorceMediatorCT@gmail.com